I had some trouble putting together the last four albums for this post. It turns out that even though in the past I might’ve loved an album to the fullest I possibly could have, and admit that they supported me, in a transformative sense, over time I haven’t retained the same emotions. It feels sort of ugly to know that my entire relationship with something is entirely in the past, although certainly I can still fancy these albums I’m talking about, it’s just that I have this feeling that I’m not compatible with them anymore. Maybe this something I can speak about at a later date.
#9 The Altar
My crush on singer/songwriter Banks is one with filled with complete jealousy and amazement. Through her music, specifically her second LP, The Altar, I’ve found even more value in being infatuated with the contents of personalities. If by now you haven’t picked up on theme of unlocking new definitions through the music you listen to, please try to understand here. Audacious in personal, lovelorn matters, with other thoughts on the observations of the self, I’m drawn in mostly on a perspective level. The highs are loud, and the lows are quiet, with the former carrying sentiments you’d expect in the troughs, and the latter with belches I’d normally find in the peaks. The bulk of this record are carried by themes of emotional strength & closure, sang through with a compassionate tone to the self, but also with a sense of careful consideration for the listener. The Altar is an audio healing with methods of clarified comfort & empowering survival.
“follow me to my bed
cause every time you fall I’ll be on your hip
when will you get tired of feeling bad?
and every time you fall, follow me”
The point in time that this album showed itself to me was right after I graduated high school, I’m attending the local community college and working one of the worst jobs you can find yourself in. This period of my life was defined by loneliness, major change, & self-doubt. To this day when I visit songs like To the Hilt or Mother Earth, I can’t help but imagine my 17 year old self sitting outside, alone at night, on break from this unimportant job. Burning every song on a blank CD to play a low quality rendition on the speakers of my first car, or mouthing along to the lyrics lying in bed as if I was performing to every past version of myself who also lied awake at night at two AM. Banks on this record spoke a language of introspection I was already familiar with by that time, but it’s necessary to note that she was the first female singer I’ve included in my safe space, and I credit her for every future woman I would go on to listen to with an open heart. This album, was the spark of renovation for my house of preferred music, a style that fit with the rest, but it’s inclusion inspired a exploration of the extremities within my genres.
#10 Kairi Chanel
“imagine changing your life after you said you’d do it”
On the same exact day Banks released The Altar, a rapper from Harlem dropped a mixtape I’d listen to in parallel. Kairi Chanel, Dave East’s first release after appearing on XXL’s 2016 Freshman List, filled a void in my personal playlists, specifically a vacuum for intelligently ignorant New York rap. Even though I just described my life at the time of this release with words like loneliness and self-doubt, I could just as easily say that kid was also reckless & impassioned. When I listen to tracks like Type of Time or The Real is Back, I can still imagine my 17 year old self sitting outside, alone at night, on break at an unimportant job. This was the music escaping my broken car window after dropping out of college, the music in my headphones when I constantly stole food & drinks from my job. I was sad and invincible, this album helped me feel one of these words, but still reminded me of the existence of the other. My first 6 months together with this record is a similar narrative to just about every album I’ve listened to(in their entirety). I’d say it’s been around 9 years of actually choosing and listening to the music I want to, but the difficulty of predicting how important an album will be to you has barely diminished over that time. I hear about a guy named Dave East, I become aware he’s just dropped a new project, I save it to Apple Music, I spend time(like two or three weeks) with only 3-4 tracks, then that trial run is the deciding factor on whether or not I tune in to the rest. Even after getting extremely familiar with every song on Kairi Chanel, it never occurred to me that the quality of the story-telling, the themes of the songs, and the mature bravado would motivate me to get physically involved in rapping along to this day. 3 songs off this record has made an appearance on at least one edition of my “favorite songs of all time” list, Don’t Shoot is still so fucking insane to me. I’ve already stated that I’ve been in this music consumerism game for 9 years now, I’m beginning to be able to make assertions such as your overall taste in sound finishes making drastic changes every 3 years. This was a year I was launching my campaign for electronic music, adding depth to my R&B collection, and right before I was taken over by numerous female (mostly indie)pop singers. My childish reservations for buzz words like “real” bothers me as I prepare to type this, but real, arrogant toned rap like Dave East’s Kairi Chanel is a standout alumni of this generation.
“i’m bout to go fuck four or five summers up”
#11 Backwater
This was the last available(you’ll see later that number 12 is a first ballot hall of famer) slot in this series, and there were a lot of deserving albums to be here. I typed in three different titles right above this paragraph before giving in to Kllo’s first LP(don’t tell me Well Worn isn’t an EP). Is the fact that I saw them live 4 weeks ago playing a factor in my decision making here? No, but I absolutely want to add the fact that I did that. Backwater and I hooked up in the first half of 2018, the second week of march to be exact. Apple Music personal playlists yet again has impacted my life in ways I have failed to make up for. Making Distractions was among at least another dozen songs that I doubt ever saved to my library, and within 30 minutes I had Backwater on shuffle; unlike the previous two selections, this is not a normal love story. Although one and a half years has not been enough time for this record to become a lock for this list, Backwater is only one of three albums(in this list) that does not have a single skip for me. One of the best qualities an album can have for me is the ability to be listened to through almost any any mood/time of the day. Sensitive music is my bag, but Kllo gave me an extremely wide range of sensitivity on this project. Some songs I want to lie still and be sad, some songs I want to suppress my senses and be fearful, some songs I want to move my body from the knees up and be a member of the audience. In the last entry, I mentioned how every 3 years your music taste changes, as of tonight I truly believe Kllo is the sound that is mainly pulling my interest. Dissolve or Nylon are dance tracks about love, which is definitely the furthest from original you can possibly be. But the synth combination of a shredded base & fairy-like line then paired with Chloe’s voice has already proven to me that I love change. This is the youngest album on this list, causing me to still be in this honeymoon phase with it. However, although heavily considering other projects, how I feel now is telling me that I couldn’t go without recognizing this 12 track piece. This is a paragraph about hoping for a lifetime of happiness.
#12 Take Care
Yes, Drake gets two. Marvin’s Room was the introduction, the YouTube version without the second verse. Over My Dead Body and The Ride was the second wave, still listening on my Mom’s laptop on a very beta phase of Spotify. It hasn’t even been a year since I’ve learned of this Canadian human, somehow though, I knew he was the one. If Nothing Was the Same is the New Testament for my internal preferences, Take Care is the Old. There are a handful of tracks I could go a year or two without, but fuck me if for every The Motto, there’s a Shot For Me and Hate Sleeping Alone. Do I recognize that there’s some corniness existing on this project, at least from a more grown perspective? Yes, but truthfully I don’t give a shit this album is fucking insane.
” You won’t feel me ’till everybody
Say they love you, but it’s not love”
I Hate The Real Me 