Today’s set of four albums includes a mix of where a lot of my new feminine energy comes from and where my first misogynistic perspectives were birthed. Arguably, this grouping contains stronger writing than the first post, and probably does so against the third and final piece to this thread.
#5 The 1975 (Deluxe Version)
I’m going to start off this second installment with an album that stands out from the rest. The self-titled debut album from The 1975(deluxe version being the lengthier compilation album of previous EP’s, something we’ll see again later in this post), contains some of my favorite songs of all time, but it also possesses tracks I literally have never listened to, making this album uniquely quintessential & unimportant at the same time. I remember when I first learned of this band, like many others have, on the internet from indie girls. I hold The 1975 responsible for doing something absolutely fucking ridiculous: by making songs that I really love, it basically solidified at the beginning of high school the type of girls I will be attracted to for the rest of my life. One of these pioneer girls goes by the name of *****, and witnessing her and her affiliates taking a liking to this group put me on. I didn’t start actually listening to them however, until I saw their music video for Girls, on the TV channel, Fuse. This prompted me to download around 10 of their songs(from this album) onto my phone. Tracks like Chocolate and Talk! were among my firsts, but soon songs such as Me and Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You rocketed themselves into my heavy rotation stratosphere. What I credit this album and band for doing for me, is opening me back up to other sounds apart from hip-hop, especially at a time where rap music was becoming my life. It got me back into more pop-style writing, and more teen-angst perspectives. The writing on this project(or projects) cuddled me in ways that I wasn’t used to at the time; The 1975’s lead album is sprinkled with tracks I considered to be a scandalous affair, a touch unfamiliar enough to fulfill a hunger I was never aware of. From the melodies to the instrumental grooves, I was made to feel calm(relaxed) and trendy(contemporary). I was ready and willing to allow a part of myself manifest into the demographic this music was intended for. The idea of divvying up my attention across multiple genres of life was a practice I preached, however, I had yet to do so at all in my taste of music, new music that is. For that, I am forever grateful to The 1975 for spearheading that initiative within myself.
#6 Process
Sampha was a mysterious figure in the R&B game in late 2016. His name was out there and I was aware of him enough thanks to NWTS(I am going to mention this album every 3 posts aren’t I?), as well as type beats on YouTube. After this album was put out, and noticing it under the new releases of Apple Music, I casually throw it on while working overnight at Target and these 10 tracks instantly baptized me in soulful ballads & tearful catharses. The quality of the writing and the tight-scoped narratives gave me another definition of art in early 2017, a time of confusion in my life. Like what the fuck is Plastic 100C??? I wouldn’t exactly describe my reaction to this album as saying I was blown away, but rather I’d say I was moved in a multidimensional way, a way that unlocks the door to the heart and provides for it a safe haven. I hate saying the word abstract, but it suffices in describing the writing on Process. Like I mentioned in the previous paragraph, I am now aware at this point in my life that I carry desires I don’t even know I have, something I expect to always have for eternity. The pleading Sampha delivers on this album, the howling of lyrics that reaches to places inside myself I’ve yet to explore, satisfied me comprehensively. There’s a sense of wholeness that not only this project exudes, but also beseeches upon me as a listener, and that sense of completeness, to me, characterizes what I believe is the ultimate artistic achievement. I’m jealous of everyone in the world, the whole point of robby #8 is to explain why for some of the people I happen to be jealous of the most. However, what Sampha did on Process, feels so above what is possible that it instills in me a hope, pure of human envy, a divine milestone that lets me know there’s other doors in my hotel of a body, and as I continue to let guests inside, I anticipate the ones that already have a key.
#7 Don’t You
It’s been one year since I broke up with Apple Music and left her for Spotify. I’ve never been in a long term committed relationship before(like with a human), but I’m inclined to think how I feel when I look back at all the times I had with Apple is comparable to actually thinking about an ex you actually loved. Wet is probably the third best realm of music Apple Music has ever shown me(via their weekly personal recommended playlists). I’m about 70% sure that the song recommended to me was You’re The Best, the other 30% is Don’t Wanna be Your Girl. Either way, love was had and I immediately shared it with morgan, a person I’d eventually place in same category as Don’t You. A grouping that requires a display of strength through matured emotions, a consistent focus around the finer characteristics, and a complicated feminine spirit that establishes itself in a way I can actually relate to. The serenity that follows the warmth that is honest anguish is on the list of favorite emotions to tap into, a theme that was easy to figure out for myself. What wasn’t so natural though, was noticing the family tree of sub-genres for the music that makes me feel this way. What makes this album so important to me is like discovering a new texture for the same fabric. I’ve been so used to male sung/rapped tracks that involve a tone of “just visiting,” as if it’s never part of the big picture, but rather it’s supposed to be it’s own broad view. Kelly on songs like Body and Weak make me feel like I’m listening to someone who lives in this space, a more proficient hand. Not to say that I’m not aware and love others artists who I’d describe in the same way, just that this particular pop synth/contemporary R&B album about heartbreak, although sung in a soft and vulnerable way, comes off to me the exact opposite, I find it hard & powerful. I truly hope at least 4 times a year I dance to this song that’s about previous relationships making it hard to commit to new ones, while images of that one girl I worked with in early-2018 & rebuilding my friendships is in my head. Things I can decide to make the meaning of song or album, because that’s what consuming art is supposed to be.
#8 Trilogy
Dark, sexy, and a gravitating splendor. I can’t help but laugh today, in 2019, that 13 year old me was singing High For This word for word. It somewhat proves to me that production quality & aesthetics are enough to capture a young person’s mind, at least in the scene of music. I had absolutely no business instantly feeling actual feelings while moving to a record primarily about sex & drugs. What I find beautiful about time, is that now in the present, I can look back upon those memories, and pencil in context that can shape some semblance of a coherent narrative. Because in my mind, this compilation of EP’s isn’t just about sex & drugs, but rather those are the consequences of the environment & perception The Weeknd built his life around. I want it to be known that at the time of my discovery of both this album & The Weeknd, my primary form of music consumption was a hand-me-down iPod touch, where I’d search only the titles of songs I knew on YouTube. Before that, was another hand-me-down device, then being a broken PlayStation Portable that had hundreds of songs downloaded on it. That PSP held the starting location for the long journey of my personal music taste, an early pioneer being House of Balloons. I’ve never really recognized before now how euphoric it is to feel like you’re the only person in the world to be singing along to a song. Nowadays it’s difficult to find that, when you do encounter your new favorite listen, like 95% of the time I clearly understand how popular or how not popular that artist or song is. I am so fucking glad that when I found House of Balloons and Thursday, I had absolutely no clue if anyone other than myself and the previous owner of that PSP(my older brother) knew about these sounds. I’m fortunate to have had the conversations I’ve had with older humans, particularly about the music they enjoyed at my age, and something I’ve noticed about R&B is that every person has their first experience with sexy ass music, and each era is noticeably different than the next. But the base content remains the same, The Weeknd is the main actor in my own origin story for seductive & sensual lyrics; 2011 is the birth-year for my awareness of whatever the fuck “nighttime” music means. Even now, like as I’m writing this, listening to Wicked Games feels like a relaxation or just a familiarity I don’t have with much anything else. After being able to live roughly a decade with a lot of the songs in my youth, I’m not moved anymore, I’ve long already closed the basic definitions of what this album and others alike mean to me. However, I have three EP’s worth of music that loyally feel like a part of me, an irreversible effect has been brought upon my soul, an influence I found at a young age, that I grew up with, and now able to look both ways with. I can’t imagine Trilogy not being in the first 2 or 3 albums I suggest to any teenager in any future I find myself in, because to me this album is heavily represented in the soundtrack of my own teens, and that’s a feeling I want forever.
I Hate The Real Me 